ESCANDALO in Space, Part VI: The Untimely Death of Space Bat

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NASA's Latest Mission To Jupiter: The Juno Spacecraft (And Also...A Tweetup!)

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This Space Available Presents...Astronaut Muppet Babies

The This Space Available blog has migrated to SPACE.NSS.ORG. For details see NSS Welcomes Emily Carney and This Space Available

ESCANDALO in Space, Part V: When Bumping Uglies On Moon Rocks Was A Thing

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Awkward Crew Portraits: Gemini 6, 1965

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STS-1 Clone High: The Best Of NASA Conspiracy Theories, Part 1

NASA photo from 1981. I'm assuming this was taken after NASA made clones out of the remaining DNA samples of Young and Crippen. Engle and Truly were not aware of the switch yet...but wait, were STS-2 clones too? The mind boggles!

Part of the never-ending fun of being a spaceflight enthusiast is hearing endless conspiracies about various NASA missions. I won't even get into the dozens of crazies um, curious people who think the moon landings were faked. A friend sent me a link to what may be the very best NASA conspiracy theory ever, though. This one involves the space shuttle Columbia and cloning. And not just ordinary cloning - NASA somehow managed to clone John Young and Bob Crippen. I wish I made this whole thing up in my mind, but here's a link to prove that someone dreamed up this hot mess scenario and posted it on an Internet message board.

I'm just going to do a capsule summary of this interesting theory, since I've already posted the link above, and plus if I read the entire poorly written post again I'm afraid I'll legitimately have some kind of grand mal seizure from the awful grammar and writing. Basically, the poster claims that the "real" space shuttle Columbia exploded or was somehow destroyed. As if this conceit wasn't tasteless enough (seriously, anyone writing a fanfic-esque story about a fictitious space disaster which kills real people has some kind of mental issue...), the poster claims "synthetics" a.k.a clones were made of STS-1 astronauts John Young and Bob Crippen in order to carry out the "fake" first Columbia mission. Or something like that. Around this point I thought someone had given me some of the "bad shit" (a.k.a brown acid) from Woodstock, and I had to stop reading.

So there you go. This is the greatest space conspiracy theory I've probably ever read, although I am sure there are some even more amazing stories out there. I can assure all readers that STS-1 was, in fact, a real space shuttle mission which began and ended successfully with its non-cloned astronauts on board. Also, how difficult would it be to clone Young and Crippen? Seriously...? I doubt cloning technology was fantastic in 1981; remember, 1981 still boasted cathode ray televisions and rotary phones. NASA would have messed up the clones. Clone John Young would have been from Rhode Island, and he would have hated corned beef sandwiches. Clone Bob Crippen would have hated tanning. People would have caught onto the deceit pretty quickly. YOU CAN'T CLONE PERFECTION, PEOPLE!

"Aw shucks. Ah am a clone now." The real John Young in a real space shuttle simulator, 1981 NASA photo.

Jack Swigert of the Week: Givin' All The Haters Side Eye...

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Spacelog Captures Liberty Bell 7, Gateway Drugs Into Manned Spaceflight, And Other Meanderings...

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Yet Another Completely Badass Photo of STS-135: Reentry Edition

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Atlantis' Last Crowning Achievement: STS-135 Lands, July 21, 2011

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This Is It: STS-135 Reentry And Landing, July 21, 2011

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"How Much Would You Pay For The Universe?"

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Watch The ISS/Atlantis Separate For The Last Time This Morning At 2:28 AM EDT

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A Country Boy Can Survive...On The Space Shuttle: John Watts Young, STS-1 Edition

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Where Is STS-135 Right Now? Google Earth Edition

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Jack Swigert of the Week: Some People Do What They Like...

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And Once Again, More Thanks To My Readers, Old And New

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A Country Boy Can Survive...In Space, Part 2: John Watts Young - Apollo 10 Edition

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A Country Boy Can Survive...In Space, Part 1: John Watts Young

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NASA Tweetup News: Guess Who's Making Yet Another Trip To Florida's Space Coast?

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Quote Of The Week: July 12, 2011 Edition

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A Few Things We'll Miss About The Space Shuttle: Central Florida Edition

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The End - July 8, 2011

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STS 135 Update From Titusville - July 8, 2011

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To All My Readers, Thank You For Your Support

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Break Out The Kleenex Now, Because Here's A Blast From The Shuttle's Past...

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Space Shuttle Atlantis - STS 135 (Final Space Shuttle Launch) News Roundup

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